Have you ever felt like God was telling you NOT to do something? Did you ever begin to prepare for something, and all of a sudden this feeling in your “gut” just tells you stop and do something else? Yeah, that happened to me today.
You see, I was supposed to have a job interview today… and I didn’t go. Why? Why would I not go to something that could benefit me and my family? Because from the moment I received a call and accepted an interview, something in my gut kept saying “no.” I have never gone back and forth so much about going to an interview until this moment. Sure, there have been plenty of times where nerves simply got in the way; but this was different.
When I’m nervous, I usually try and pull any excuse I can think of to not do something, but eventually end up doing it. In this instance, I didn’t try to pull any excuse. I did my research on the employer – they’re fantastic; quite literally, they have five-star reviews, a good pay rate, it’s close to home, and it’s in a field that I enjoy working in. And yet, I still felt my “gut” tell me to not go.
I continued to feel this way all morning as I prepped myself. Eventually, it occurred to me that I needed to spend some time in the Word; I’ll be honest…I do not tell myself that very often, so I knew this was serious business. Well, go figure – I left my Bible in the car. So instead, I decided to open the Bible app on my phone and hoped that the verse of the day could shed some light on the subject. And what I came across was this:
“I have tried hard to find you – don’t let me wander from your commands.”
-Psalm 119:10 NLT
Now, I’m sure this could be interpreted in many different ways and I had to sit on it for a minute. However, I think I knew what it meant from the moment I read it. My biggest difficulty in my faith is not having full control over my life. Recently, I made a commitment to let God lead and to listen to him more often instead of making my own outright decisions. In this moment, despite all that would be good with this potential job, I think God was telling me not to go; or in the case of him leading me – “commanding” me not to go. Why? I have no clue. The best I can tell you is that He has something else in mind.
(I know, I know – cheesiest answer in the book, but that’s all I got for ya.)
But there could be another answer to this question of why He would tell me not to go. You see, I’ve been fighting myself on creating this blog for quite some time. It’s something that I have felt God pushing for me to do for awhile, and I never felt like I had a justifiable reason to start it. And yet today, I felt God saying “it’s time.” I don’t know if not going to the interview and creating this blog instead are actually connected, but as of this moment, they appear to; and I think it was one of my first challenges in this new commitment I made.
If you’re still reading, please know that I fully intend this blog to be harsh at times in the future; but also know that anything I post is simply my opinion and interpretation of how I see God working in myself and/or other areas of the Christian world. I do not expect everyone to understand my thought process, but I hope that you are willing to listen and have an open-mind.